If you were to ask me what my first passion is, Numerology or art, I would be unable to give you an answer. I was drawing and writing poetry when I was in my early teens, so I guess that, when looking at it as nothing more than a timeline, I would have to say that art came first.
I was an introverted, socially inept kid roaming the streets of Amsterdam, a sketch book clamped under my arm, questioning everything and everyone -- first and foremost, my own existence. But even before I "discovered" Numerology, symbolism dominated my drawings and my poems. In my mind, there was simply no other way to reach into the abstract reality of consciousness -- and there was absolutely nothing I wanted more than to know why and how, to understand that which I couldn't even form questions about.
And to this day, symbolism is the tool I use to gain insights into the incredibly beautiful mystery of life. And that is my first and true passion: life. Not the things I can do because I am alive, or the dreams I can dream, or the satisfaction I can experience or anything else that happens as a result of being alive. Those feelings I consider to be nothing more than the generous bonuses bestowed upon us by the ultimate giver. No, when I say I am passionate about life, I mean I am passionate about the miracle of life, of the energy that gives birth to and sustains all life forms. Of the power that lives inside of me and every other human being, that draws breath into our lungs and makes our hearts pump and produces and eliminates cells as needed, and on and on, performing this continuous, timeless miracle in its invisible, unknown and under-appreciated way, without us having to ever even think about it. Talk about humble!
Today, I rarely write poetry, and ceramic sculptures have replaced drawings (you can view some of my work here at www.artdecoz.com). Sometimes I combine prose and ceramics, but one thing that has not changed is that every single piece of art I have ever created uses symbolism as a way to reach for something truly beautiful: a true and lasting appreciation of life; an appreciation and gratitude that comes from a real place, unspoiled by the explanations and rules and dogmas of others.
So when I first discovered Numerology, I recognized it immediately for what it was: the most powerful and organized form of symbolism; a door to a world of understanding that promised everything I ever wanted; a way to punch through a layer of limitations. Of course, Numerology itself is, by definition, limited. And yet, it is precisely the power of those quantified limitations that can propel your consciousness into regions of understanding that make your world a trillion times larger than it was.
And then you realize that knowing means nothing and feeling means everything, so here is a poem I wrote for you:
To be immersed
in the sound of a river
the light of many suns plays with the foliage of my soul
the wind brings life
a spring satisfies my every need
A Child's Revelation
This wall panel contains the text (without punctuations):
WHEN I WAS ELEVEN GROWING UP IN AMSTERDAM A BOY SCOUT EVENT TOOK ME TO A CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I SAT ON A HARD WOODEN BENCH AND WATCHED GROWN UPS DRESSED IN STRANGE VELVET ROBES WITH EMBROIDERIES AND MEDIEVAL SYMBOLS AND FUNNY HEAD COVERINGS SPEAKING WORDS I DID NOT UNDERSTAND IN MONOTONOUS VOICES AND I KNEW THEN THAT THE WORLD IS A FAR MORE DANGEROUS PLACE THAN I HAD EVER IMAGINED